Discovering the philosophies that come along as staples with studying pick-up healed many emotional pains and empowered my inner self-worth in ways that stretch dramatically far beyond sex with girls.
However, one of the pillars of the pick-up paradigm that I’ve honestly never seen challenged by anyone, is that you should never pay for sex with a prostitute. This of course stems from the same notions that teach men not to try to win over girls by buying them drinks. Every man is worthy, by virtue of his existence, to be loved and fucked. The money they throw on top is really just because…I don’t know they’re clueless chodes.
However, I will make a case for why it is in fact OK to purchase the services of sex workers, and it can in fact help eliminate emotional needyness.
I use to think prostitution was wrong and disgusting, and then I visited Amsterdam and ate psilocybin mushrooms and walked around with an erection for 3 days making faces at hookers, and internally HATING myself for this ethical rigidity that was preventing me from doing what the rest of me wanted so bad.
So afterwards I came back to the states and moved out to San Francisco and lived with one of my greatest mentors in life, my friend K. He is a pick up guy as well, but primarily a sex therapist, activist, sex party organizer, and major defender of sex workers rights.
So my friend K, goes to the annual sex workers convention in India every year, and then travels the world and has sex with hookers about half the year around. He also organizes sex parties and events and has plenty of sex for free as well. The other half of the year he he works in health in the US. On our way to burning man together, we stopped in Reno, NV and I decided, WTF, there’s something i’ve never done because of a moral or emotional objection. I swore to myself that anytime I catch something like that, I willfully partake in it(this philosophy is a major part of Tantra Yoga)
So I go into a bunny ranch and pay $200 for a handjob, with a condom on, from a very bitchy and demeaning woman. I asked her afterwards, “Do you think the men who are you customers are bad people?”
“No, she replied, they’re just pathetic”.
I think that attitude, from an emotional standpoint, roughly reflects what most pick up guys would say.
S a few years later I went back to Amsterdam and saved up a bunch of money, took a bunch of mushrooms, and went on a wild sex spree. I fucked and I fucked, and eventually I ran out of money. I was there with my friend, and I was doing this behind his back, while he slept stoned in the hotel room, because I was ashamed of the fact that I was fucking hookers.
When I had only €25 left, one of the obese African prostitutes from the €25 back alley was banging on the door, demanding my patronage. That’s how the €25 euro hookers advertise themselves, while the €50 hookers just stand there and make seductive faces. Her sales approach seemed to be founded on displaying anger. The way they would bang on the glass, she was literally FURIOUS that I didn’t want to fuck her for €25. Not sure why but I suddenly had a blazing hot erection.
I went in and I was so overwhelmed with the grimy, dirty, filthy wrongness of the whole situation. Then something snapped in my head and suddenly wrongness and dirtyness turned me on like crazy.
Suddenly she said “25 more euros if you want to cum!” in an angry tone. Let’s save the ethical discussion here for Better Business Bureau. I really didn’t have it, and after arguing for like 10 minutes, she said ‘fine’ and jerked me off VIOLENTLY and PAINFULLY.
With the €50 euro hookers previously, I remember feeling slightly butt hurt when they would demand that I leave. They just all seemed like wife material.
In this case, I ran the fuck out of there.
When I returned to the States, I decided to overcome my shame and started telling this story. Even my monogamous girlfriend found out. But my story was SO popular among my friends, people would come over to my place just to hear me tell it again.
I swear I’ve told it like 700 times by now. I still get a little wood every time I think about it. I don’t know why! The hooker was unattractive in every way imaginable!
Fast forward several years later. This off the boat Russian guy comes to Boston, I only later learned that he was basically an international thief. We talked for like 5 minutes and he said “nada ebatsya” which means, “we need to fuck” which actually meant: let’s drive around Boston looking for hookers and pay for them with his stolen credit cards.
So we engaged in this activity for a few weeks, during the ONLY monogamous relationship I’ve ever been in. The girl lived with me! She slept in my bed while I drove around Boston fucking hookers. I eventually confessed all this to her and she had some sort of mental breakdown.
Now during this process, I felt a certain transformation occurring within me emotionally. That was the first time I got an inkling, without ever having read any pickup books, that non-needyness attracted girls. Because, sure, hookers cost money, BUT if you have the money, you can go around having as much sex as you want, with as much variety of women as your hearts desire.
It’s like an artificial equivalent of being a rock star or dictator, (artificial because you’re paying for it) but the developmental parts of your emotional brain don’t know this. I think it actually triggers some sort of ‘alpha mail’ genes or something like that.
Then this other Russian friend and I developed this past-time where we would hang out at night and spend hours calling hookers and haggling with them. We would rarely actually purchase their services, but the experience actually really desensitized me from shyness with women, and discussing sex, etc.
So eventually when i started going to clubs and bars to pick up girls, there would be this underlying thought, more of an emotion really, that if things get REALLY bad, I can always just have my choice of thousands of women and fuck whoever I want. Of course this is not pickup, and it is not what we study here, BUT, it short circuits the part of your brain and hormonal system into feeling as though you own a harem of thousands of women. And since then I just hardly ever felt like the consequence for not pulling at the end of a night would be depression. But is USED to be and I see this a lot.
A lot of guys can’t help but feel ‘worthless’ and ‘unworthy of their genetic existence” if they go for too long without SOME sort of validation from the opposite sex
So, for me, knowing that if I really want I can fuck hookers, and doing it just for the fuck of it once in a while, and of course not at all out of desperation, helps me feel like the world is my playground.